I was sent a link to a steal-of-a-deal via instant messenger the other day. It’s really warm in The Northern Hemisphere this time of year, so that means I wish I were in Argentina (peak snow season right now) and it’s a great time to buy winter sporting goods. The front page deal on Steepandcheap.com was a Giro snowboarding helmet at 70% off.
Not bad.
I have been thinking about a new helmet. The one I’ve been wearing is from 2001 and you know, with all the new technology that’s been coming out every year that enables us mere mortals to feign Shaun White as we’re perfecting our backside ones to his backside tens*, my “helmet technology” is essentially lagging. Because as every boarder knows, being up on the latest equipment technology makes us ride better. [/sarcasm] The sport of snowboarding is such a cash cow. I cannot believe how much money people spend, sometimes. Also, I’ve observed that oftentime, the amount of money people spend on equipment is inversely related to their experience on the mountain.
But hey. I deserve a new helmet. It’s normal that I have goggle tan during the winter months, but I could certainly do without that strip on my forehead from the gap between my goggles and helmet cap.
And then there’s the question of what size to get when you can’t try the thing on. So, I checked out their size chart. In regards to fitting things on my head, I don’t know which I feel more: dread or amusement. But each time, I can’t pass up the chance of finding out.
Finding out, yet again, that I have a big head.
My current helmet? A large. My graduation cap? A large. Mind you, these are unisex sizes–so this means that of men and women alike of all heights, the mungo-noggin atop my 5′4″ frame still sits in the upper percentile.
I started by taping, lengthwise, an oversized blank sheet of paper to an 8 1/2″ x 11″. And then–while at work while in my cubicle–I wrapped the contraption around my head as if a chef hat. I kept my finger in the place where the edge of one sheet met the inside of the other, and measured it with a ruler.
I marked a line with my pen at the 12″ line and replaced my clear, plastic ruler at the new spot on the sheet. And there it was. My head circumference at its widest part was 23 1/4″. I traced my finger down the helmet size chart. Extra large.
Good God, I have a big head. The kicker? It was a men’s helmet.
I didn’t end up buying it. I don’t know if subconsciously the size of my head was too painful to stomach or that I’ve been extra disciplined with my online shopping, lately. Most likely a combination of both. I probably would have bought it if they had a plaid pattern on sale. I have an affinity for plaid helmets, kind of in that girly way. Meh.
You know that myth about having big brains meaning we’re smart? Thanks for the consolation and all guys but Google is our friend. 
Researchers Bust Head Size-Intelligence Link (abc.net.au)
I mean, really. I have a big head. What of it?
Love,
*e
* - Backside one is a 180 degree turn towards the top of the mountain, whereas a frontside jump is a turn towards the bottom of the mountain. A backside ten is a 1080 degree turn in the same direction. Obviously, a 1080 has a lot more rotation.
21 Comments
i almost got the G10 helmet too. But it would be an impulse buy. I kinda wanted a black helmet.
You can’t tell a story about wearing a makeshift office-paper-chef-hat thing with all sorts of pen marks at the office and not post pictures. Not allowed.
The large circumferencec of your skull and surrounding soft tissue was a necessary byproduct of the monstrous growth of your brain!
Bobblehead!
Well, in some clothing brands, I’m a 6 and in some I’m a 4. Maybe it’s just the brand. It’s so subjective what’s considered an “XL” these days.
@codemunky: If I already have something (like a helmet), before I upgrade I have to make sure everything is pretty much awesome. Since they only had the black and graphite, I opted not to since I would at least want a brown one… Haha.
@lexybeast: All I’m gonna say to that is I’m glad I don’t have photographers following me around.
@Franksabunch: Aside from synapses, I didn’t know brains grow.
@EternalPonderer: Dwight Shrute did it first. I don’t know if anyone could do a bobblehead better than he. I guess I would be a close second, because it would be closer to scale.
@twolims: I appreciate your sweet comment–we need more women in here to comfort with things like that.
But you’re right…it is all relative, isn’t it?
maybe you’re not the first…but you’ll be my favorite bobblehead.
Girl, I have a HUGE head too! My cap from graduation was a x-large and when I go shopping for hats, I can not fit most. Especially those one size fits all at A/X!!!!
I understand how much money can be spent on sport stuff. I spend SO much money on tennis gear! I feel like I always need new stuff! It always changes and I buy so many clothes!
I have a way small head. Caps look stupid on my peanut-sized nogg.
Check out Moosejaw, I’m telling you. I bought a pair of DaKine gloves for $20.
@wehoroy: Haha we can be commiserateurs.
If there were such a word. And about sports, I guess you gotta pay to play, dontcha?
@Methodick: I see small heads and big boobs and I think, wouldn’t it be nice to combine the two (my big head and his/her small head, my set of small boobs and her set of big boobs) and then divide the total sum into two equal parts and redistribute them? That would be fair. Like taxation with representation.
I have a decently sized head that looks small at first glance. It’s the back of my head that sticks out a lot. Like the Alien from the Ridley Scott movie.
My head will barely fit into those adjustable hats. I’ve popped off many a nubs in my day. Your head is almost as big as my left bicep.
@dave: I imagine that would be flattering if you wore ponytails.
@Al Bolin: My head is not envious of your left bicep. Perhaps your right, but definitely not your left.
If you see me in person you’d think I’d have a big head, but I don’t. I have an odd shaped head, so I have a really hard time finding helmets that fit right. I haven’t boarded in awhile, but my last helmet, it took me months to find.
If you ever want to come board in NY, I’ll show you around. We’ve got a nice place to board…it’s about 30 minutes from my hometown and they get a lot of tourists who ski and board. Plus, I usually can get free passes because my aunt knows people.
Don’t fall prey to “Headism”, celebrate your big melon :=) I never can find a cowboy hat to fit in the store, hope springs eternal!
@Josh: Odd-shaped might be a bigger obstacle. But I’m taking you up on your boarding in NY offer. I’m curious to find out, even if they do call it East Coast Ice.
@Cappuccino: Does that mean you have a custom-fit cowboy hat? I’m doing my best not to let the headists win.
I’ll go on record and say your head ain’t THAT big. If it is, then the size of it gives off an optical illusion.
haha I have a big-ish head too (men’s M, you have me beat!). oh, and I just wanted to say that I have indoctrinated many into the wonderfulness that is shinsengumi…. I think I’m gonna keep them in my #1 spot - I have sampled the ramen at santouka and although I have to say santouka pork is a winner, I still gotta give it to shinsengumi over all.
Tiff and I have been going on noodle adventures……
hehe
you have a big head, you have a big head!!@hheheh makes you wanna smack me, huh? 
it’s funny cuz i never paid attention to head sizes until i moved to korea and in korea, girls all want a seriously small head cuz it’s thought it makes them cuter. i was so clueless, i don’t get it. and don’t worry e*! that just means you’re smarter! 
hhehehe
@Alex Chang: Thanks for the assessment. I feel much better now.
@chococat: I just had Santouku ramen yesterday and my verdict stands.
I’m glad you and Tiffany are enjoying your noodling adventures, though! Did you know my friend The Rameniac actually did a guest spot on KCRW on ramen one Saturday morning on a “Good Food” segment? I was so stoked!! I have also sampled Daikokuya ramen in Little Tokyo since my Ramen post and though it was good my Santouku ramen-as-king verdict stands, yet again!
@angelahappydot: Please no taunting me on my blog, please!
Just kidding. Anyone with a head this big does tend to have a sense of humor.
RYC- hey, an estarla comment instead of a dieselgrrrrl comment! Did you level up in website management and gain this weird ability? =) OK, sorry, that was nerdy.
Yes, that is indeed WI apparel. Though he goes to U Arts in Philly. Which begs the question of what sinister link exists between the two?
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