Crazy Girls

“Well, that’s interesting,” I said. “What is it guys like about crazy girls? Is it in the same vein as being attracted to someone that’s unattainable? You can’t have her if you tried … or, Wow, she’s so unpredictible you just want her more?”

“Naw. I think it’s like, the crazier they are, the more guys are driven crazy or nuts. So, they just think that they love ’em more.”

I understood. “Ohhh… So like, it’s kind of a ‘hurts so much’ -type thing where the emotion is so strong, even though it’s a bad emotion, the drama makes them feel alive and intense or something. And it feels like love for some reason.”

“Yeah.”

“Got it.”

Let me do the honors:

  • “You’re better than this.”
  • “You don’t have to live like this.”
  • “He/she doesn’t deserve/appreciate you.”

Anything else?

I admit I was probably a crazy girl, once. Crazy in that angry kind of way. I waited for people to fail me, whether I trusted them prematurely or not. But sometimes you just gotta look at yourself and see if your perspective was right in the first place–if you’re making too many excuses for any one person, including yourself. Generally speaking, extraverts operate by deriving their energy from other people. I’d learn eventually. Trial and error, really.

Unless you pretend to be better than everyone else all the time.

While I was still sorting stuff out, I gained a quality of reclusiveness while becoming desperate for more connections. (Don’t ask if that’s even possible.) It’s a dichotomy of sorts. There are different behaviors associated with both–that is, devolving into the black hole you’ve created for myself, while other times passing on the bitterness and projecting your anger and fears onto others. With other people, you might even become too forgiving just to have the companionship of, yes, crazy people. It’s a way of dealing with the pain of being yourself or something. (Cue the addiction post.)

Where is the point where it all becomes too unbearable–making us determined it’s time to change things for good? When is the crazyness a charade to deal with things and where is the point where it becomes who we are? Some of us just need a sort of intense emotion fix. Drama for your mama.

Just calm down. Please. Be nice to people. Be nice to my friends.

Besides, that stuff so early-twenties.

*e