“Well, that’s interesting,” I said. “What is it guys like about crazy girls? Is it in the same vein as being attracted to someone that’s unattainable? You can’t have her if you tried … or, Wow, she’s so unpredictible you just want her more?”
“Naw. I think it’s like, the crazier they are, the more guys are driven crazy or nuts. So, they just think that they love ‘em more.”
I understood. “Ohhh… So like, it’s kind of a ‘hurts so much’ -type thing where the emotion is so strong, even though it’s a bad emotion, the drama makes them feel alive and intense or something. And it feels like love for some reason.”
“Yeah.”
“Got it.”
Let me do the honors:
- “You’re better than this.”
- “You don’t have to live like this.”
- “He/she doesn’t deserve/appreciate you.”
Anything else?
I admit I was probably a crazy girl, once. Crazy in that angry kind of way. I waited for people to fail me, whether I trusted them prematurely or not. But sometimes you just gotta look at yourself and see if your perspective was right in the first place–if you’re making too many excuses for any one person, including yourself. Generally speaking, extraverts operate by deriving their energy from other people. I’d learn eventually. Trial and error, really.
Unless you pretend to be better than everyone else all the time.
While I was still sorting stuff out, I gained a quality of reclusiveness while becoming desperate for more connections. (Don’t ask if that’s even possible.) It’s a dichotomy of sorts. There are different behaviors associated with both–that is, devolving into the black hole you’ve created for myself, while other times passing on the bitterness and projecting your anger and fears onto others. With other people, you might even become too forgiving just to have the companionship of, yes, crazy people. It’s a way of dealing with the pain of being yourself or something. (Cue the addiction post.)
Where is the point where it all becomes too unbearable–making us determined it’s time to change things for good? When is the crazyness a charade to deal with things and where is the point where it becomes who we are? Some of us just need a sort of intense emotion fix. Drama for your mama.
Just calm down. Please. Be nice to people. Be nice to my friends.
Besides, that stuff so early-twenties.
*e
9 Comments
Well in retrospect, I am attracted to crazy girls. Or at least, emotionally dysfunctional women. There is something about them that’s usually out of the ordinary.
But you’re right, some people are dramatic for no real reason and sadly, that kind of craziness is too normal for me.
Yet, they are there though, the unique ones. The ones that are strange and fascinating. Women who are who they are without trying. Always special and always the proverbial candle with us drawn to that flame.
As someone who’s always getting burned, got to say even after all that. It was worth it.
After tiring of crazy girls, and seeking the non-crazy ones, I have found that there may not be enough emotional spark to make dating a laid-back girl interesting to me.
Truth be told, the girls who have really gotten to me the most were the girls that were the most wrong for me. Spoiled, crazy, princess types, with no shortage of drama, and no shortage of attention from douchey guys.
@Edrei: Sometimes it’s undeniable when there’s chemistry. If it’s there, it’s there. Who’s to say exactly what it is–dysfunction or not? Also, it goes without saying that we each have our own dysfunction to make the complete match whether we admit it or not.
@soulst0p: I think we’ve all been there. The mystery of the … unmanagability of it all keeps our intrigue. That is–for me it lasts until I grow absolutely tired and think it’s not even worth it anymore.
I was just telling my husband how I did some stupid/crazy things when we were dating that were SO petty. “I was just a stupid girl in my early 20’s,” I said. It’ll be interesting 10 years from now how I’ll probably say the same thing looking back.
@twolims: That’s funny. Sometimes I hear people complaining that they’re getting “so old” as they approach 30 and while I’ll feel pressure to say the same, quite honestly I am looking forward to it. The maturity factor is one of those things where I think, “Dang, I would never be 23 again for a million bucks” because can you really imagine having to go through all that all over, again?
The ignorance is not bliss, methinks.
“Extraverts operate by deriving their energy from other people.” Hmmm…interesting. I’m a no-longer-as-obvious introvert, and I feel the converse of that statement is true too.
Life is the confusion of emotional understanding. It gets us places, but we never really know where we’re at and we often don’t care. So long as we aren’t in the same place as the previous moment, we can often fool ourselves into maturity and progress by simply moving in a circle that takes a sequence of moments to traverse.
Ok, I have no idea what I just wrote. Anyhow, I just wanted to swing by your blog like I had promised. =)
Thanks so much for stopping by, bi2ian.
Indeed, progress is good and just because we don’t always stop and answer that “Ok where am I now?” question all the time it doesn’t mean we aren’t always growing. We often “need” to be in those ruts, too, to figure out where we don’t want to go anymore. Like they say, everything happens for a reason and makes us appreciate that which is happening in the moment. 
I think because I’m such a mellow guy (you know, me being from Hawaii and all) I’ve always been attracted to crazy girls to make me step outside of my shell. Of course, I get irritated when my wife makes me do that, but I still love her for it.
So franksabunch, what are you saying about your wife?
Just kidding. That’s awesome she pushes you in the direction you want to go, yet wouldn’t have the courage to go yourself. 