On the new site created by the 9rules Triad, Quofda.com (short for Question of the Day, you hussies), they ask question to which people can answer on their own blogs. And that’s the glory of the trackback. Today they asked, “Why is the grass always greener?“
It’s an answer to the lack of blog posts on here, lately, since it has become just the inspiration I needed.
If I were a Brit, I would imagine I would answer something to the effect of, “… because complacency is bloody bullocks” in an accent better than Madonna’s.
But like Madonna I’m not a Brit so you get this bloody blog post.
It goes so many ways, really. You can take it from the perspective of a pessimist’s, which comes from a place of envy. And let’s be honest: when you look at what you don’t have, it’s only because you envy what someone else does have. Your negative reaction is the equal and opposite to their action.
In this case, you consider the grass greener “on the other side of the fence.” Glass-half-empty sort of stuff. And let’s not kid ourselves here; it’s the kind of thinking any well-adjusted human would remember in the very least during the awkward days of junior high or middle school. Okay, maybe continuing through high school.
Or even now.
In my case the focus of that fence belied my being one of two Asian kids – an angry one, at that – in my entire grade, every single year through secondary while wishing I were like everybody else in the Midwest: White. Thankfully, the older I got, the more I embraced my identity thanks to the fact that it got to marinate and I was able to adapt. Okay, honestly? Eventually, I got outta Dodge. But would I trade that glass-empty experience for anything? Never. Because I wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate my glass-full perspective now. Actions and reactions, again.
And that’s the healthy kind of greener. The grass is always greener because if even for survival’s sake, we all want to believe that it only gets better in the future. That there are other things to look forward to than the not-so-/dismal state we’re in right now and there are things that we can do to get to that (even) better situation.
The unhealthy type of greener is represented by the fence, with which we’re fooled into believing we’re boxed in. It justifies paralysis because we buy into the fact that since the situation we weren’t given = happiness, there is nothing we can do to hop that so-called fence.
Time for another personal example. For instance, I could totally take advantage of that “‘Nam syndrome” that’s going on right now. Because I hear that Asian chicks are suddenly really hot, unlike when I was growing up. That whole non-assuming, submissive thing we got going on, it’s really “in,” I hear. (And, about that, boy do I have a surprise for you.) And it’s interesting being on both sides of that fence … you get the luxury of really figuring out what’s important. And what I figured out was important to me was that I need a man for which race is not important – favorably or unfavorably.
You don’t focus on that fence, but for the reality check you recognize where you would like to be that you presently aren’t and work on the steps in order to get there. Not that you can change race, mind you, nor am I advocating running away from your problems. (They always catch up to you.) Then again, it includes changing your perspective or your situation – or even a little of both. Regardless, every once in awhile you look behind you to express gratitude about where you used to be. Everything is progress and a process. A journey.
The grass is greener because there always exists greener pastures. Get there. And there, and there…