Comments on: Quofda: Greener Grass, Greener Pastures

By: *e

*e — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:58:23 +0000

I have nothing to say to that except that you are way too sweet, moet-chan.

By: moet-chan

moet-chan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 01:48:28 +0000

as with the issue of balance, a lot of the academic go-getters don’t have your creativity or kickass website. plus you can write and play music and most important, know how to fully enjoy city life on the left-coast. How many asian parents can say that about their kids?

By: *e

*e — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 16:37:03 +0000

@moet-chan: Your friend has a good point. It’s true, though, right? But at the same time it’s the most tangible of examples because it’s hard for us to come up with where exactly we’d like to be. It’s kind of natural to look at someone else. We don’t really know what it looks like.

As for battle scars, they’re scars for me too but they are also an off-shooting point. With the overachiever-ness, indeed I’m lucky that it able to be somewhat of a buoy for my self-esteem. But I look around me and (here I go again with the comparing) tons of people my age make more money than me, are going for that master’s degree. So I work on the rest of my life and remind myself that it’s the journey … and that money isn’t really the most important thing to me, and another degree is a waste of my money and time at this point, and make sure my actions reflect that, too.

Thank you for sharing a tiny bit of *your* story.

By: moet-chan

moet-chan — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 08:45:40 +0000

a friend once said Comparison is the Killer of Joy
it’s good that you’re happy with your history since it can’t be changed unless you’re into Scientology
i treat my history in the heartland like battle scars.

it’s good to find someone to relate to. although you were probably consummate overachiever till the end whereas i plateaued around 8th grade. thanks for sharing your reflections.

By: soulst0p

soulst0p — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 21:46:08 +0000

What the efff??? The other side has grass???? I want grass!!!

By: *e

*e — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 17:51:41 +0000

@Lexybeast: Fine balance, indeed. I would also go as far as to say that admiring others’ pastures doesn’t mean that you necessarily envy them – you could be happy for them.

@big league: If I end up envying what others have sometimes I find myself comparing other aspects of their life that I don’t even really know about – but could be negative – and figure that my life is better than those other parts and in that way reason to myself that “it all balances out.” It’s kinda effed up, really. Ultimately what I wish for is to just be happy for them, regardless. No more of this “comparing” stuff. It could be human nature but I think it’s a good place to shoot for.

@moet-chan: At times I get sad/angry that I once felt that way, too. Other times I’m thankful (like in my response to big league) that I wasn’t raised in an insular environment and that’s why I’m “so equipped” for life in the real world, now. Note the quotes, haha. To be honest, that’s just where I’m coming from and I can’t lie that I’m glad I grew up where I did. It’s all in hindsight, of course.

@Scrivs: I did, huh? I hope that was the point! Well, I guess I’m okay if it wasn’t. Thanks for the props and for coming by.

By: Scrivs

Scrivs — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:24:09 +0000

Damn girl, you took the question and ran with it, that’s for sure. Let me go back and read it again so I can wrap my tiny brain around the concepts you are throwing out…

Okay I’m back. Yeah you nailed it pretty much.

By: codemunky

codemunky — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:42:56 +0000

you are always wanting more and more. There’s also this thing called progress. you can also find it in the bookstores, under self-help, or maybe, business.

By: moet-chan

moet-chan — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 05:40:59 +0000

I’m still angry at myself for wanting to be white when I grew up in Wichita.

By: big league

big league — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 02:18:45 +0000

you don’t see the other side, so your mind fills in the blanks. and your imagination always exagerates….for better or for worse.

that’s why movies are always scarier when you don’t see the monsters. you mind always makes it scarier….

and your mind always makes it better when it can’t see beyond the fence…