There are blogs that blog about blogging and there are other blogs that are dedicated to a subject matter … and then there are personal blogs, like this one. And therein lies the answer. I write for myself.
Sometimes that includes writing about myself and sometimes the only component in a post is that it is my opinion coded in html. Then again – that’s a pretty big component – coming from me and all. And so, if I haven’t already, I present this to you: My personal blog. Completely scattered in subject matter and incomplete thoughts flying in, left and right.
The “quofda” is a good question (even a fundamental blogging question) and provides a good occasion to pause and examine my own place in the blogosphere. Why do I write here? And now I will proceed to prove myself wrong.
It’s interesting that I had never kept a journal until short of a year ago and even then I had already blogged at least intermittently for 3 years. If you think about it, there’s a lot more you can put in a journal; it’s not under public scrutiny. In fact, for me, it’s a place where I can enjoy my own handwriting – the construction of each unique letter form is a cathartic act of fleshing out my unique thoughts in their present place and time. A tactile experience, if you will.
And so, the act of writing only for myself by blogging is probably untrue and more fulfilled in keeping a journal. (Well, perhaps if I derived great joy from typing for some reason this would be another reason why I love to blog. I have capped out at 110 wpm before – so there might be the additional perk of expediency.)
So it follows, then, that I write for my readers – whoever they may be. Well, you, of course. Not just myself. And I do enjoy the comments each of you make, while putting out the hope that what I’ve written has provoked some thought not reflected in your feedback. And the little notoriety that comes my way as a result is – I can’t lie – a great perk. I am just conscientious 100% of the time to not make it the aim. But let’s face it – if I were to say I write for myself and damned be everyone else, that would be a flat-out lie.
Once upon a time while in grade through secondary school, I was especially weak in the area of reading comprehension. Because I’m Asian, I was good at math. I was also good at most subject areas like history, science and in writing. But when it came to reading comprehension, I was weak. It came up in the diagnostics and standardized tests. There was a incongruency in this because this meant that I could make the output (writing) and quite beautifully in fact, but not process the input (reading).
It became an epiphany recently that this weakness was a result of my environment. I disassociated myself from a lot of the world around me in order to “deal” with the hurt feelings that I wished not to feel anymore. Now don’t get me wrong, here. I’m not looking to place blame, only to understand that which I came from so that I can address it, get even better and move on. This condition with which I was accustomed to was a very closed-off, fearful, protective place.
Once I came to a place where it felt safe to open up, I was able to process that input and I could effectively work on that weakness. In turn, it enabled me to become that much more skilled at writing (the output) because I was able to come to terms and embrace everything that was going on inside, not be afraid, ashamed of or closed off to it. To really embrace the person I was created to be. For that I am eternally grateful.
And it is not only for me but for so many others whom I write for. Everyone whom it is enjoyable to interact with as it is entirely a 2-way street. I feel as though I’m interacting with all who may enjoy my writing at least once in a blue moon even though I may not know it because somehow I still feel that our thoughts are connecting – I love being open to that. I work on my comprehension (the input) by reading some of my favorite blogs and I can appreciate all the ideas floating around the infamous blogosphere. That openness was not always there because I was made to feel afraid of it so now I can truly appreciate it because I’ve worked so hard for this.
The fulfillment of myself is the meaningful relationships with others. So if you have a blog, I invite you to link yourself below. I may or may not put you in my blogroll but please know that I wish that you may write for me … because I certainly write for you. And I’m honored you came here. 🙂