“What’s your nationality?”
I cringe whenever I hear this question. Okay, perhaps almost everytime I hear this question, particularly in the settings that I’ve been accustomed to. When things are so potentially heated in this melting pot of a country (maybe just city), I do not understand how definitions of ethnicity and nationality are used so interchangeably.
Let’s get this straight here. “American” is not (yet) an ethnicity just as certain as “Shiite” is not a nationality. If you’re a citizen of the United States, your nationality is “American,” pure and simple. You could be of any familial or tribal descent but if you can vote here, you are an American.
And then I hear fellow Asian Americans talk about their fellow Asian Americans’ “nationality” in a completely wrong manner – for instance, to describe this hoochie mama of a girl who’s Korean or that cowboy of a guy who’s Chinese – both of whom speak perfect English. Come on, guys.
Further the plight. Get your English right.
Cue the flashbacks of grade school, of middle school and of high school. “What nationality are you?” they’d ask me. When I told them “American” – which is a correct answer yet one I knew they weren’t looking for – they’d say, “No really. What are you?” They might even show some annoyance. I knew what they meant. Like, what country are your parents from?
Because if your parents are from a foreign country, or you’re not white, then you automatically are foreign, too? But I’d play dumb. “Ohhh…like what ethnicity.” Because I was going to give them a tiny piece of my mind. I was born and raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin – just as certainly as they were. For that matter, my parents are American citizens too.
My brother had a trick he told me. He said, “Ask them how old they are. If you’re older than they, you can say you’re more American than them.”
I didn’t have the guts to do that in my young age, when I was concerned that people liked me and that was more or less a call for appeasement. But I’m content to toss that under the “could’ve, should’ve, would’ve” category of my adolescent years.
Sometimes, though, I’ll question my tendency to get mad. To demand that my fellow Asian American comrades get everything straight is either expecting too much or a reasonable place where I want us all to to get to. I am leaning toward the latter. Because I honestly don’t think it’s too much to ask. We compose 2% of the American population, folks. I feel strongly about the trap of not letting one or two represent the sum of its parts – but at the same time if we don’t have our information or language right, how are we to correct others when they are wrong about us since we don’t even know, or can’t even tell??
I still remember an argument I had with another member of the 50% ethnically Asian UCLA population in my Freshman year. I was so frustrated that I had left the argument in tears. Freshman year was a very unhappy time of mine, a time when I was disillusioned with the insular majority. It was amazing to me how lucky everyone was to have grown up where they did yet didn’t know it and therefore took it for granted – and I expressed this to the guy. I had tried to convey that there was “so much more” out there in the rest of the world and if we don’t prep our skills for dealing with the “real world” where we aren’t the majority, and instead the extreme minority, then we’re flat-out stuck. His answer was, “Why would I ever leave here?”
My “could’ve, should’ve, would’ve” answer now: Because you might not have a choice; or, you might eventually want the choice and you won’t have the skills to acquire it.
You know, ignorance really is bliss. It’s complacency – and if you’re happy with that, then so be it. Just please try not to insult everything I’ve worked so hard to understand thus far.
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12 Comments
i still have issues with when to pick and choose “the battles” of ignorant ppl. i still get, as a physician who graduated from college AND medical school, and who is going to be providing their medical care….asks: “wow, you speak English really good.”
speak English good?
bitch, i speak English better than you! wtf?!?!
So what would you consider yourself?”
Deborah: Wow, you speak English so well…
@bigleague: you should tell them this: “no, superman does good, i speak english well. and better than you.”
@big league: I know what you mean. I think from my life’s experiences I went from not fighting any battles, to experiencing the repercussions of not fighting them. Then I would fight almost every battle that came my way … and learned that much of it wasn’t worth the effort since that took away from my credibility, if you know what I mean. You find your balance, eventually.
And the strategy you employ also gets better with practice.
@a: I see Angry Little Asian Girl bags being carried around everywhere, now!
@owbert: Yes, “well” is the operative word there. Well, not operative but adjective. Lol.
my favorite: “What race are you?” Of course, you can be nerdy and say, I am a cold-blooded bat from hell. And we all know that bats aren’t cold-blooded.
This is an interesting topic to me, my wife and I are in the process of adopting a girl from China. Culture and heritage are things that we feel it will be important for here not only culturally but socially.
I never really thought she might be viewed differently by her peers because her parents were not Asian. It was interesting to hear from adult adoptee regarding this topic, and makes me more resolved to make her culture available and part of all of our lives.
There was a point hidden somewhere in here but the Spring air and sounds of kids playing outside has whisked it away into the ether…
@codemunky: They aren’t?
@Cappuccino: Well congratulations to you and yours!! How exciting it must be to have a new one in the family. That is so great you’re striving to keep her tied to her roots in some way. I say any and all culture is good because there’s a point where we don’t appreciate it because there is only one we come to know and take for granted as if that is the only world around us and think that is the way it “should” be. I truly appreciate the point embedded into your comment.
Thanks Esther! We are still in the long wait, we expect to travel in 2009, with over 17 months gone by since our dossier was logged into China, it seems like it will never happen, but patience is the key I guess. That and a good support network of friends! Have a good day!
Ahh yes. That dreaded question. I usually get “Where are you from?” and a few exasperated looks when I tell them I’m from California.
@Cappuccino: That indeed is a long time to wait.
And friends are priceless … I’m glad you have such a great support group!
@DocKruce: I forget whereabouts you’re located now. I had a guy ask me if I spoke English and where I’m from just this past week on Cahuenga in Hollywood, in fact!!
That’s true. I went to San Francisco last weekend and it was awesome!
The weird thing for me was to see Asians everywhere. Like, everywhere. But, I was rudely awakened when I got on the plane to go back home to Atlanta.
“Hey. Where are you from?”
*sigh
@michinyon: HOTlanta!! Glad you had a good time in SF. Time to give LA a try now, right?
Indeed it’s totally culture shock (like in SF). But whenever I go back to Wisconsin I get nostalgia for the first half of my life. Different strokes for different folks … I think I miss the kind and generous, genuine people of the Midwest the most. But there’s just tons to do and enjoy out in Cali. 
What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. I think a lot of Asians out here in Cali wouldn’t know how to begin to respond to what the guy/girl asked you on the plane. In the same vein, practice makes perfect… I was asked the same thing on Cahuenga in Hollywood, so you really just never know.