It was just another Saturday afternoon as I drove along Sunset Boulevard. In fact, I was heading back from the East Side performing my usual geekery at my weekend daytime coffee spot (not my weekday nighttime one) when I saw this from the seat of my MINI. Don’t worry – the traffic signal was red, then.

And the billboard tripped me out. It actually said “Social Networking.” And to illustrate the point of the the concept (with nothing particular to say about it, per se – just the mention seemed to suffice) there were a few, varied tequila drinks next to the bottle of Patron. Patron be the common thread that binds all us geeks together! Or is it?

I’m going to get metaphorical here. Patron isn’t my favorite (4 Copas and Tezón are) nor is it even made with the best ingredients but it is certainly the most well-known. It’s assumed to be the highest quality because people generally don’t bother to do their research and Patron is where they default*. Patron, though, is most likely the only tequila brand that could afford the Sunset Boulevard space. It was indication that “Social Networking” wasn’t just geekery anymore. The concept had gone mainstream.

Technically – according to this billboard – I had just been “networking.” Socially, I guess. But I protest. I wasn’t doing so purposefully. What do I call it? I call it “checking my Friendfeed,” “scrobbling my tracks to Last.fm,” or “uploading my pictures to Flickr.” I told you it was geekery. Even “reblogging my favorite looks on Tumblr.” When a friend sees me at the cafe and asks me what I’m up to, I never say “Oh, I’m just social[ly] networking.”

Thus is why I tend to cringe that that term “networking” is used at all. Think real life. When you’re at a non-virtual party hoping for that opportunity to fall in your lap where you meet someone who can connect you to a winning lottery ticket (?), do you tell your friends the next day that you were “networking?” When I hear “networking,” I think events that feel like tired college fairs filled with employers who rent booths as publicity stunts and to collect resumes only to filter through 100 of them – which go straight to the shredder – only to fill 1 position. Too contrived to yield anything constructive. “What can you do for me?” Sure, it could be the start of a working relationship. But like all relationships and meaningful contacts, it takes time. There is no incentive to waste resources on what looks on the surface to be like a dead lead. You mean to invest your time wisely and “networking” is no exception. That is, unless you are out of other options.

That comes across, too. There has to be stratgy behind standing out amongst the rest. “Social networking” is so broad.

I thought about it: Are there times where I actually say things like, “Yeah I gotta log into that chat tomorrow and get some ’social networking’ done?” No.

Is “social networking” just a legit way of saying you’ve been meeting people over the Internet? Or for messaging your friends-of-friends on Facebook? Because granted, online is how most of us find our real-life destinations now. Doing so within a set of these “social networking” sites and tools has become kosher, not creepy. Or – supposedly – it seems like this “social networking” label is THE label to apply to earn its street cred. Would you call finding people to date on eHarmony “social networking?”

It’s the territory that comes with any label, I guess. Personally – I am all about meeting different kinds of people from all different backgrounds because doing that makes me a different person. I’m not looking for handouts. If anything comes about it, it came about from a relationship or friendship with another person.

I don’t have answers here – just observations. And at the end of all this of course is, Twitter, Twitter. Twitter. Now that’s mainstream.

* Angelenos, get edumacated about tequilas and see what’s really out there. Try El Carmen’s quarterly tequila tasting where around 10 tequila vendors give you a sampling of their silver, resposado or anejo formulas. Usually held on Saturdays from 5-8 PM. El Carmen provides the chips, salsa and other passed appetizers (and even *gasp* water!) all for $25. If you reserve your spot, you even get a souvenir El Carmen T-shirt. You won’t find Patron here.

El Carmen
8138 West Third Street
Los Angeles, CA 90048
One block west of Crescent Heights
323.852.1552

Email Meghan Graham to get on the list at: megang [at] committedinc.com

Wallpaper by actiondatsun on Flickr

I don’t write a lot of web- or tech-related posts.

But I feel compelled to speak. At *cough* *ahem* 7,500 updates personally (with my first tweet occurring sometime pre-November, 2007) it’s been eye-opening seeing Twitter really – and I mean, really – blowing up. This is because it was a pseudo-blog concept that blew up with people I actually knew in the physical-before-online sense. What’s even more surreal is actually explaining “what Twitter is” to my coffee shop friends because they see me on it in my browser or they’ll see my Twitterific docked and have heard about it – and so they ask me to fill them in. It signifies a new era, truly. “Viral” has taken on new meaning.

Los Angeles is wicked viral, dudes.

In another time and place, you could do an “Oh it’s a geek thing” -type brush off of the explanation. But now people actually wanna know what the hype is all about and it’s not another “personal page phenomenon” (e.g. Facebook, MySpace – though they all try to be like Twitter now). Here’s a tip-off: I don’t even work in web. But people want to know “What is the point? How does it work?” Because contrary to Twitter themselves, the point is NOT “What are you doing right now?” And for the first time in my young memory, it is mostly ageless and not trending towards a particular age group (contrary to what Details Magazine thinks). This time, it’s social media that’s inherently harder to bluff. Not only does each profile take time to establish – but Twitter is built on interactive history and relationships – and patterns are there to be judged for themselves. You put time into it or you fail to exist. One thing exists for sure: The mob. Who else would we brag to about our unexceptional lives?

Of course, you add onto the hype that several celebrities have latched on, immediately giving the service its due credibility or even fame – such as on the morning show circuits. Or even notoriety – for single-handedly “breaking up” actress-musician relationships.

But I think – as with everything – there are a few ground rules that people should generally know in order to create a happier Twitter experience for both themselves and their followers. These may seem a little obvious to some (don’t expect to gain enlightenment if you are already a well-versed Twitterer *ahem* developers), but I’ve been surprised as to how some don’t know the few features that do exist. There aren’t many so it’s necessary to be en pointe with all of them. Your feed is quite easy to optimize more and annoy less when you keep in mind a few things. Yes – annoy less. Some of these are a reflection of some Twitter peeves I’ve developed! So this is for the more common folk out there who are reaching for their inner geek via Twitter.

• This one should be obvious: Cut out all the noise and set your notifications to “Show only @replies to the people [you're] following.” What do you care what your friends are saying to people you don’t know, anyway? This is also the first rule to getting only the info you want in your feed by the people you half-care about and none of the chatter you don’t.
• Please avoid using “@” immediately before anything that isn’t an intended Twitter handle – because it will link. If the handle doesn’t exist then surprise – dead link. Or, if you actually mean “at,” just space it out after the “@”. Accordingly, @kneath has phrased this concisely in a Tumblr post.

If they are on twitter, you use an @ sign pointing to their account — like @kneath. If they are not on twitter, you use their name — like Kyle Neath.

• Again, a basic one. Do know where to get all your @replies. El-p (of Company Flow) – on Twitter as @therealelp – has had problems so if, like him, you haven’t known where to get all tweets where you are directly addressed, you select “@replies” on the right-hand column. Or if mobile, select the option “Get replies” in Twitterberry or the corresponding mobile app. Also, expect your @reply tweets to apply only if you start it with “@username” – not if your @username was merely in the body. This function also grabs everyone that has directly called your attention – not just those you are following. (The downside is it also makes it a potential hazard for spam. Wonder how Twitter will address this in the future.) If you want to see where you’re mentioned at all, use Search.
• Conversely, if you want to grab someone’s attention, the only thing that makes a tweet an @reply is when you mention @username first. The Twitterer/Twit/Tw*t will be able to recall it most easily when you structure your tweet like that.
• Diversify your tweets. If you have too many “I’m listening to’s,” or Blips – or only Twitpics, or only Brightkite updates – your followers tend to get bored. Annoyed. I’ve done it myself with Brightkite, which I actually never use anymore. Personally – the fewer plain Brightkite updates the better. I tend to like to quip something about where I’ve arrived or where I’m at rather than being meta: “Look at me; this is where I am! The mere mention should make you jealous!!” Or, “I’m listening to this song and you should just know it’s really cool.” Utilize the space allowed for an actual tweet attached to the hyperlink. What has made you think about the track right now? Picture-taking and track-playing services after the jump.
• DM = dm = Direct Message. Take it elsewhere. Like maybe even your cell phone or email. Then again, it’s your feed.

Personally, those are the main tips I would bring up to a new Twitterer. Once you’ve gotten a handle on those, you can link up and get creative.

Music

I use all of the following if only because I can’t find all the tracks I want to tweet on just one site…

• Blip.fm – Fronting itself as an outlet for your inner DJ, Blip.fm allows you to accumulate listeners, “blips” and collect and give out props. Interesting incentive to keep your tweet-plays to one channel. In its heyday, it allowed track uploads but now you can only link from another source or “blip” from the current database.
• Twt.fm – Integrated with Imeem, which means if it’s there then you can “twt.fm” it.
• Twisten.fm – Partnered with Grooveshark instead of Imeem. Yet another library and tweet-crawler.
• LastfmLove – Allows you to tweet directly from your Last.fm profile by the tracks you favorite.

Pictures/Geotagging

• Twitpic.com – Email or SMS your picture tweet in by creating your own Twitter account-linked address. Or send it to your Twitterberry (or corresponding app). Be patient because some lag occurs and it’s worse at some times than others.
• Brightkite.com – Keep everyone updated as to where you are and even append photos to those locations. In doing so, you essentially add to the database Brightkite has of the establishment/street corner/overall vicinity of where you’ve “checked in” at.

Of course, you can’t forget your URL shorteners like Tinyurl or the shorter Is.gd and Bit.ly. And if you’re feelin’ the cheezburgers, you can also try the (long but cute) Icanhaz.

That should make the Twitter post for the ages, or on this blog anyway. For now. I can’t believe I just kind of went all “social media expert” on you guys. Sorry.

My head hurts.

Hold me. Follow me.

Thanks for listening.

UPDATE: Twitter @replies are now mentions! See the update on the Twitter blog here.

Despite the fact that my previous posts about Pinkberry were less-than-favorable, I ended up on the list of bloggers invited to the original West Hollywood location to try a “new taste” they had been cooking up before taking it public*. After all, Pinkberry got its first boon virally – and they were going to tap into its original source of traffic marketing to give them the publicity they wanted again.

Ohh…granita. Smoothie. Liquid yogurt. Yogurt Drank. So this is the next accessory. And the point of it all is as simple as being a less threatening driving hazard, since you don’t have to consume this Pinkberry with a cup and spoon – only a straw. Point taken. I think we can relate to that, being metal-encased Angelenos and all. No need to justify anyone else’s road rage, now.

The Drank tasted good. Call me biased – since my verdict on the yogurt had been read so long ago, and repeatedly - but I enjoyed the granita more than the yogurt. Unlike Caroline, I have yet to try Starbucks’ Sorbetto but I can imagine they are similar. Clearly the exact same in targeted demo, though. But there is a good amount of tang in the smoothie and I think this is the medium in which I can appreciate the “grit” in the yogurt taste.

The granita was also filling. When Tim and I mentioned this observation to Pinkberry founder, Shelly, she exclaimed, “Good!” while giving us two thumbs up. So as for meal substitute, the granita can definitely fill that role if you happen to not mind being nutritionally challenged. The small size had even made me full, but heck if I couldn’t squeeze another one in just because it was free – and I did.

The Pinkberry folks treated us bloggers well. They set up a DJ and gave out goodie gift bags with gift cards, Pinkberry tees and pins. They also made sure we were sufficiently stuffed with either granita or yogurt for the night. So yeah, I admit it. I’ve been seduced by Pinkberry in a kind of one night stand. So as a token of my appreciation, I’m letting you all know that you can try the granita starting tomorrow (Friday, September 12) at 6 Pinkberry locations. The ones in the L.A. area are the original West Hollywood store and the one at the Farmer’s Market at Third and Fairfax, connected to The Grove.

Pinkberry
868 Huntley Dr
West Hollywood, CA 90069
(310) 659-8285‎

6333 W 3rd St
Los Angeles, CA 90036
(323) 933-2516‎

Anybody want a free American Apparel Pinkberry Men’s Medium Tee? It says, “I [swirl] Pinkberry.”

*Thank you, Tara Met Blog!

Apparently, his story was meant to come back to me in some way. I had recorded the first volume of the HBO Documentary series The Black List, and he was the very first featured. I thought the documentary did a remarkably well job at bringing out the poignancy in each person’s unique black experience. Everyone talked about something different – whether it was about growing up or just one of many lessons learned at work – but the common thread they all had was that they talked about a moment or whole experience that really meant a lot to them. Perhaps instances that changed them in order to give them deep meaning or insight.

I can’t wait for the second volume; I hope there are at least four.

What Toni Morrison had to say (as many things she has to say) really spoke to me:

Writing is the only free place; it’s the only place where I’m not doing what somebody else wants or asks or needs. Writing is mine. So [after] winning the Nobel Prize, suddenly I’m in a different league – not just out there in the world but in my head. That sort of rivalry with oneself – that is not self-generated but generated outside. The necessity [is] for me to make sure my work [is] not somebody else’s version of what I should be writing about.
[snip]
You know perfectly well that you’re pulling from the rest of the world of books. But what you want to make is this one little place, like the facet of a diamond. Just one little shape. And that’s where you live, and that’s yours.

I had the opportunity to attend a storytelling workshop held by Erwin during Terra Nova, an artisan/creativity retreat put on by Mosaic over Labor Day Weekend – if you must know, and things he taught about the compelling components in the art of storytelling were so reflective of simply reliving life itself. Taking someone else on your journey, and their wanting to actually be there with you. As in, what makes a life worth telling – from your perspective?

One of the points made was the fact that the audience is not drawn to your story because it is the beholder of truth. They can get that anywhere. It’s not a compelling enough reason to pay attention. What draws them to your story is that they sense that they can trust you. And part of that is sharing what you have in common with the audience without being common. It might entail sharing a common experience but giving your own unique perspective.

What happens when the things you share is simply playing lip service to what others expect you to say, do or even be? But I think far too often, we get sucked into that and don’t even realize it. And then where are we? We’ve lost ourselves and we’ve gained people whom we don’t even know would like our very authentic selves. On top of that, I think – people can see all of that. They can see the layers that are put there between your bare soul and your audience. While it will resonate with some, with others they will feel your reluctance to trust them with your real self. The search for surfacey acceptance is realized through writing instead of a deeper connection that is harder to achieve but is ultimately more rewarding when truly made.

The point of it isn’t that there is “no agenda” – everything that’s worth something has an agenda, even a trajectory or conflict and resolution - it’s the very thing that gives meaning to what you have to say. But we can share ourselves without imposing that which affects us on other people. To simply share can be that agenda – to share ourselves is a gift to others. A gift which they may or may not choose to take, and that in itself is a profound thing. And writing and sharing is the search for people who might read and listen.

In the same documentary (The Black List: Vol. 1), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar – who has also had experience writing - had a moment where he was illustrating a point like this:

They say, “I’d rather be a lamppost in Harlem than governor of Georgia.”

Surrounding ourselves with those who are invested in expanding our understanding, together, while contributing to others’ stories in a positive way whenever we can is invaluable. It’s community; it’s the safe place where people who don’t understand aren’t there to disqualify your experience. Personally, I’m all the better because of writing. Everything that I’ve been able to externalize has been a practice of keeping a constant flow of thoughts forming and releasing, allowing new ones to fester before they get their chance at the same. It’s therapeutic and allows myself to live the life I’m meant to live, be the person I’m meant to be through that safe place.

So, these ground rules probably have more to do with personal blogging than with the subject-specific. It might complete the picture to know that I’m trying to piece these “rules” (or should I say “minutiae”) together only now. It’s not like any of these are hard-and-fast; they’re definitely up for revision so feel free to disagree … or tell me in any way that I’m 100% correct.

• If you don’t already read my blog and I have one-on-one human interaction with you, I’m unlikely to tell you to “check it out online.” I don’t want to tell you how to spend your time online, and I certainly am not interested in pretending you care about my online presence, period. It would be undermining the face-to-face interaction in the now. Separating the real life from the online is like the importance of separation of church and state. You and I are right here, right now; let’s get it on with the banter already – if you can hang. I’m not about to hinge a conversation on something that I wrote somewhere else that you have to check out later.
• If you MUST take a picture, stop with the camera flashes. Learn what ISO does on your camera and use it; if the picture isn’t still or light enough, just let it go. This has to do with online separation as well, like the previous rule. Flashes in low light with regular point-and-shoots turn out annoyed subjects, fellow by-standers and horrible pictures. I’m just going to put this out there: I have friends who call me the paparazzi and I have friends who embarrass me because they can’t stop snapping long after the moment is over. But I think I’ve achieved the balance and that is mostly through the absence of flash. Because hey – if you’re willing to annoy those around you for the sake of online documenting, something tells me you’d be better served to absorb the moment in the now than being able to look back at a crappy shot of said moment later.
• In personal blogging, showing you’re attention-starved is the ultimate fox paw faux pas. In doing so, you lose the validity of your audience and you’re stuck in an echo chamber. There are tons of high-quality, substantive blogs out there that are devoted to particular subjects. They are valuable resources to lots of people, depending on interest. This is not one of those blogs, so I make sure that I have something else (ideas, culture, commentary) to offer. I am the source of these posts but I, as a subject, am not the end-all of it. Whether you think the material I write is interesting, entertaining, what-have-you and the feedback I get as a result is completely separate from the value I place on being able to share and put thoughts out there. That being said, I want readers who are attracted by a value or two that I’ve written about – and I’ve accepted that over time, I’ll gain some and lose others.
• Quality over quantity. If I’ve stopped blogging for a week or more, something’s probably going on. My head’s messed up to the point where I feel uncomfortable sharing. Or I can’t sort things out. I may be in one of those ruts where I respect you guys to the point of not wanting to subject you to crap-on-a-screen. Yeah. That means I love you.
• e*starLA is my home, but I’m accepting more and more that online presence as a phenomenon is becoming more and more decentralized. There’s a site now for everything and everyone (*cough* Facebook) and it’s a bit of overload. So if you like what you’ve been seeing here, you can check out a couple of my most important other spots on teh interwebs…
  My Twitter – for my thoughts and goings-on in 140 characters or less
  My Tumblr – for links, humor, thoughts and happenings longer than twitter but shorter than a post (complete thought) here on estarla.com

I know there are a few others floating around in my head. Maybe I’ll save them for another day. Hope you guys have a great week!

So then, you’d think that it follows that hip Angelenos who want good recommendations on where to eat and where to avoid might thank their lucky stars that there’s Yelp! to help them figure that out.

A little over a year ago was when I really heard about it blowing up. It was also when I first created my profile. I have probably reviewed random places I’ve eaten 11 times since then, which is certainly no match to really active Yelp! users. I see there are “elite” members in that they have written over a certain number of reviews (100, I believe).

So then, you’d think that it follows that these elite reviewers really know what they’re talking about since they’re pros at writing reviews on the internet.

Just wait a minute.

Okay now, in the interests of full disclosure, I have not delved deep into the site enough to really have given it a good, thorough assessment for the purposes of this post. But there were reasons why I’ve remained lukewarm and even cold on the site. See, I tried reviewing establishments in order to – *cough* – establish myself and proceed to maximize my usability. Not long after, I found that it took more time than I wanted to invest. I simply was just not interested.

As far as from the point of view where I was searching for an establishment inside a category (i.e. “Mexican food”) that I had never tried before, I would often notice places that I not only already knew about but thought were mediocre or even sub-par get rated with 5 stars (out of 5). Now, if a restaurant had 50 or even 100 reviewers calculated into this average, I just didn’t think it was worth my time to make my case. After all, you can’t argue with the mob.

But you can leave it.

I’ve just revealed the key ingredient on my dismay with the site. If there were dozens of averaged reviews I did not agree with, why would I invest any further energies with their host?

So already:

1. I don’t trust Yelp! reviews because I find their concensus wildly different from my own opinions on the same establishments, thereby making me reluctant to seek their advice on other establishments, and
2. I didn’t really feel it worthwhile to write reviews in order to “correct” said concensus on places as it seems that they would only be a drop in the bucket anyway, and
3. Quite frankly, I would rather spend my online time elsewhere.

A particular review I came across about a semi-exclusive place in Hollywood alarmed me as to the sophistication of the reviewers, themselves. (Oh yes, I’m going there.) She complained about being charged for dessert for the Birthday Boy in their party, “despite the fact that the waiter asked if we would like to bring out a Birthday dessert for our guy – so naturally I assumed it would be free. Ends up they actually CHARGED us for it.”

‘Scuse me? Free? In Hollywood? Oh honey, you haven’t even found out about the $16 per top shelf drink (mixed), yet.

I thought it might be a fluke review so I clicked through to her profile. “Elite reviewer” was her title.

Far be it from me to judge an entire website based on one person, but I found disastrous reviews all over the place. So let’s see here. You think “elite” reviewers have been all over LA and therefore experienced tons of eateries, thus knowing the best places to go in the city – or do you think that that time is instead spent at home on the internet actually writing said reviews?

Because there are only so many hours in a day, days in a week, weeks in a month – to be also detailing your adventures on the internet. I would much rather be out enjoying the decor, savoring the food, absorbing the atmosphere, and going on to the next establishment to do the same thing. But you know, some people would rather go home and post their spin on it on the web so others could envy, consult or gawk at their literature (or did I say something before about a drop in the bucket?).

I read a lot of food blogs, and potentially learn great new spots from them. But I think the reason for that is that they have a larger accountability for what they say – and that is how they earn my trust. Yelp! on the other hand, is like the Poor Man’s Food Blog. People think that what they say will make a difference – yet make their reviews an opportunity to get on a soapbox or recount a really funny thing that happened at the restaurant rather than actually articulating a review, and then allocate stars according to that funny episode. You can give reviews “funny” or “cool” points – so you see people going for that sort of online validation through, for instance, poems. Seriously. What is this, again? A restaurant review? Oh yeah.

Here’s a clue. If it’s already on Yelp!, too many people have probably already found out about it and the quality has decreased since it’s been good, and/or you’re going to have to wait 45 minutes to get a table for brunch. Here’s a tip: Get out there, make some friends. Get a recommendation from someone who shares something in common with you. Go with that recommendation.

That’s not to say that Yelp! is not useful. This is how to enjoy Yelp!:

1. Save “http://m.yelp.com” on your cell phone browser
2. Whenever you need an address or phone number, go to this URL to look up the establishment. Ignore reviews. Bingo. Online directory.

Then again, you could always use Citysearch.

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According to Chawlk user Elle’s impressive 9rules Case Study (and general concensus), The Triad has been pretty selective about who they’ve admitted:

• Started: Apr 2005 with 16 blogs
• Round 1: Apr 2005, 127 applicants, total members: 31 blogs
• Round 2: Jul 2005, 359 applicants, total members: 46 blogs
• Round 3: Nov 2005, 509 applicants, total members: Not sure
• Round 4: May 2006, 700 applicants, 111 new members
• Round 5: Oct 2006, 1190 applicants, 134 new members
• Round 6: April 2007, Ongoing applications, Not sure

The case study cited above incorporates the past 9rules before the very-recent spin-off of Chawlk.com. While we’re on “Version 3.0″ right now, Version 2.0 was ambitious in that they tried to create a community integrated with member content. Some members left as a result of not feeling the commitment to contribute to that community. Later, as the 9rules Triad have realized, ambition is best and most effective channeled and focused on one particular thing. So now, on 9rules, you will only see the aggregation of member content.

While I’ve enjoyed the community of 9rules and still do, I am in full support of this separation and resulting focus on the original philosophy of 9rules. Members are what made 9rules special and this continues to ring true. So submit your blog and sell it to The Triad – it’s worth it to see if it makes the cut! I think it is also a great opportunity to really scrutinize and reveal how your blog can be improved.

…or don’t do it at all. Actually, yeah. Don’t do it at all. Because some things just shouldn’t be done – period.

And you know, with the advent of my admission to 9rules, it’s that time when I relate Louis Vuitton-branded SUVs to blogging. So yes, I’m going there.

You can learn a lot from Louis Vuitton SUVs.

See, Louis Vuitton doesn’t make SUVs. Handbags, sure, but automobiles? Never. But sometimes we just can’t help making the stencil, getting out the spray paint and rolling one of these babies out of the garage and parading it around for awhile. We think that patterns – yes, even styles, trends, you-name-it – applied to anything else is an instant signal that whatever lies underneath, too, deserves notoriety and respect.

Louis Vuitton SUVs are just like disingenuous posts in blogging, name-dropping in networking.

All I’m saying is, in all things, be the best you can be. But be the best *you* that you can be. Don’t be tracing stencil and don’t be comparing and copying color swatches with anyone else’s crap. Find out what you like. Sometimes people just think that because something gains notoriety or even respect in one arena, applying that principal to anything else (or yourself) will do the same thing.

I won’t lie – we all want notoriety and respect and the easiest, quickest way to get there. But – to what extent do you apply formulas to yourself as if you had all the business using them or pretending you came up with its proof to have people, after coming up close, disappointed that you didn’t have the brainpower or substance to back it up? That whole time you dedicated to copying could have been used honing your own skills the best way you know how.

There’s nothing wrong with solid paint, y’see. Because Louis Vuitton never made SUVs. And the deeper the right people look into your true, solid paint, the more they appreciate the little specs that make up your solid color. It’s a lot cleaner and done better than a paint job with gold LV monograms bleeding into the brown - which actually gets uglier and less refined the deeper people look. You won’t be able to back it up.

Sure, we all like to take shortcuts, use soundbites and affiliate with the already-recognizeable. But that’s not forward-thinking; that’s just following the status quo and quite frankly, not doing yourself a lot of justice. You’re just going to fall behind.

Seriously – you’re not fooling, much less impressing, anyone with that fake paint job. Be authentic. Find Create yourself. Because you can’t do LV monograms on an SUV “well.”

9rules is a wonderful blogging network aggregating feeds of independent blogs with quality content. So I’m honored that you will be able to find me amongst writers, designers, developers who put out the best content on the web. You can find the blogs categorized into many different communities. Whether you want to read content specialized in the financial, automotive, design, commentary, religious or dozens of other (loosely) sorted subjects, 9rules is the place to go!

They welcomed me into the Personal Blogs community in their Round 5 of submissions. Woo. I’m happy to be a part of the family. (If you’d like to become a part of 9rules, your next chance to apply for Round 6 is May 7th – for 24 hours. After that, they close submissions until August. Such rounds occur only 3 times per year.)

Their exciting relaunch is today so definitely head on over sometime today to check what all the buzz is about. (I’ve been hitting “refresh” the past hour or so, guys.) You can also try Chawlk, which is a forum where a lot of 9rules members and non-members hash out random topics, web-related and not. The people I’ve met on this network are one-of-a-kind, and I can’t speak of a better group on teh interwebz. We have thought-provoking conversation with minimal incendiary comments – this level of discourse is really hard to match. It’s a great group of people, period.

Special thanks and congratulations goes to The Triad of 9rules (Mike, Tyme, Scrivs), who worked really hard on this relaunch. And thanks for accepting me! Muah!

And then there are those who appear to glean that sort of information – and more – from what I write in this blog.

Some things are only natural to assume. For instance, if you’ve read my posts about cars, you would know that my personality doesn’t particularly favor SUVs nor Japanese cars – but instead the unreliable German kind, with all the little plastic pieces, electrical drivetrains and failures to boot. If you’ve read the posts recounting the outings I’ve had in the city and what fun I’ve had on them – more formerly than recently – you could assume that I love where I live. Or, you might be able to draw that conclusion merely from the URL and title of this blog.

Sometimes, though, and I don’t restrict this to blogging, you can tell more about the person making the assumptions than the subject whom they’re drawing conclusions about.

Let me be frank. I put a lot of words out (t)here. I’d be stupid if I said that I’m prepared to deal with the consequences of them 100% of the time, but all the same – I usually don’t regret them. I’ve been doing this way too long now to still be blogging yet have lost sight of the purpose of spewing the verbal diarrhea that I do. I blog as an outlet – that is, I blog for me and for those who would care to listen. Whether I like it or not and whether you leave comments or not, there is a relationship being built as a result of this mostly one-way conversation. When I see my RSS feed subscriptions go up a handful in one day, or when I get even one comment as feedback to any post I write, I’m telling you right now that I get giddy. What I assume, then, is that there is some sort of gratification my readers get from reading my posts. (Let me have that, would you?)

I can lie and say that I write only by and for myself – but who are we fooling?

Given whatever of myself that I put out there, I will never pretend that I have control over what perceptions of me result from that. While there is a certain element that only commenters can bring to the table – specifically, a supporting or confounding opinion of mine – there are tons more lenses through which people probably simply do not “get” me. And you know, I can appreciate that. I fully appreciate that there are multitudes of experiences being had by billions of people on this planet, that most of those would be misaligned with my own experiences. It doesn’t make those experiences or people more or less worthy; it simply makes you and they different.

But let there be one understanding: I won’t make it your problem if you don’t make it mine.

It’s an interesting phenomenon in psychology and relationships when “tearing down walls” is so often viewed as a positive thing, and I agree that it is. But in what context? When is it a good thing because it’s an exception? First, there needs to exist the context that those around can be trusted. Maybe you’re not able to “tear down walls” because the trust is just not there yet. Let me repeat: Trust is just not there yet. Why? Because there is no relationship to begin with. Why, again? Because we’re not sure they can be trusted.

Trust is earned, not given. And it can be lost. Relationships are built (or were never built) from the inside out, not upon an everlasting pretext of presumption. If you don’t understand me, do not hold it against me. If you invalidate my truth, do not ever expect me to trust you with that truth again, soon. And never, ever fault me for speaking my mind, especially when I’ve taken care to speak it in love – I simply read it as your inability to respect another’s mind as a way of keeping your own faultless views intact. Reasoning with denial is not fruits of my labor but throwing pearls before swine.

Boundaries are good, sometimes. And they are certainly needed with some more than others.

It would be pointless to tell you and to prove to you how, why and in what ways I, as a person, am so much more than this blog – but that in itself would be reducing all of that to … well, this blog … wouldn’t it? If I need to do that in the first place, then that would surely mean that there was never a relationship to begin with. There is nothing to salvage, really.

Regardless, I am so thankful for the freedom to write here. It’s through this medium where everything is so accessible to everyone in the world that I’ve been able to really find the voice that is uncalculating yet purposeful, inner monologue yet not rambling (uh, hopefully), … basically a presentation of myself without my prescribing to you what I wish, what I hope that you might think of me.

Besides. I have way too much respect for you than to think I’d be able to accomplish that.