Ramos Gin Fizz at Sazerac Bar

With last week marking it my first time at Tales of the Cocktail, I figured I was somewhat prepared. Or really, prepared as I could be. There were tips gathered from friends who are long-time veterans, and jaw-dropping stories told that were too creative to have been embellished. The scared-yet-excited anticipation for my four-day initiation seemed healthy.

Of course, hearing about it and talking about it is nothing compared to living it, and … well, live it I did. And I came out! I survived! If we were to be honest about things, it’s always the case of “the more you know, the more you find out what you don’tknow.” As in the stuff they teach in 10 AM seminars.

I did a few of those, but I was always way more into real-life application:

• Order a Ramos Gin Fizz at The Sazerac.

Sazerac Bar, Roosevelt Hotel

It may appear counterintuitive, I know. But without discounting their Sazerac (it is, of course, fabulous), you’ll want to start with the Ramos Gin Fizz first. It was the best one I’ve had in my life. That foam was at the most perfect density-to-fluff ratio. And the taste was of the glorious, refreshingly eggy essence only dreamed of, before.

And I guess it would make sense that this would be the place, since (according to their website) it was from this very bar that Huey Long, the governor of Louisiana (1928–1932), flew his top bartender to The New Yorker Hotel in New York so that he could teach them how to make a proper Ramos Fizz.

• Pepcid AC a half-hour to an hour beforehand really helps you handle your alcohol and combat Asian Flush.

Willie Mae’s Scotch House: “America’s Best Fried Chicken”

On one hand, I’m a descendent of parents who turn beet red on a quarter-glass of wine. On the other, the frequency of my drinking and my resulting tolerance has rendered me an invalid control subject. But I can say that for four straight days, I was taking a 10AM Pepcid AC to get ready for my first drink at 10:30-11 AM to find that those tiny pink tablets are now invaluable ammunition in my arsenal from here to eternity. Though it didn’t mean I could drink anything and everything I wanted without the proper precautions (keeping food in my system and my water intake high – 1:1), my systems felt more equipped to handle the trials of Tales.

• Never finish your drink, unless it’s absolutely delicious and you can handle it.

Tales of the Cocktail, with all the in-seminar tastings, tasting rooms, spirited lunches & dinners, sponsorships and brand promotions, is an endless drinking fest. Shed the guilt of wasted alcohol and listen to your body, instead. The next drink will be thrust in your hand in a matter of seconds, whereby you’ll decide whether you hate, like or are indifferent to it and decide whether or not to take a second sip or put it down on the nearest table. There is no need to waste your sobriety on an undelicious cocktail.

• Don’t be afraid to invoke the “Irish Goodbye.”(The people who know, matter.)

Beignets and Chicory Coffee at Cafe Du Monde

At Tales, the “Irish Goodbye” is sometimes just protocol. I’m never a fan of this tactic when it comes to dating, but in New Orleans cocktail time where the roving parties are all “everybody knows or doesn’t know your name,” - people just understand that things come up and you just have to leave without the formal, 5-30 minute send-off.

• Don’t bother shipping alcohol via FedEx.

Swag is awesome, but only if you can take it home with you. There are a few ways to do this, and the one that I’ll be using in the future is packing an extra suitcase or something similar to fill to the gills before checking it in as baggage on the return flight – the proper interior bubble wrap and exterior “fragile” sticker, of course. FedEx’s policy is to not ship alcohol (or firearms) across state lines, whereas I’m told that UPS is way more lenient, classifying your goods as “food.” Either way, if you’re shipping it and not lugging it with you, you’ll want to keep the details of your contents “under wraps.”

• Don’t pack your schedule, or you won’t end up going to all your assigned events. And you probably shouldn’t, because there’s tons of New Orleans to see on your own.

Napoleon House

Though it may not feel like it while you’re there, there’s so much of New Orleans to see on your own. Take a cemetery tour, a historic cocktail tour, and of course, score crazy eats in the midst of the city’s incredibly affordable cost of living. Get fried chicken at Willie Mae’s Scotch House, only “America’s Best Fried Chicken,” which – in my honest opinion – may actually hold up to that declaration. It was certainly the best fried chicken I’ve ever had.

Get an Italian Mufaletta at Napoleon House. Beignets and Chicory Coffee at Cafe Du Monde. Sausage at Cochon Butcher Shop. Oysters at Acme. Even the gumbo as close as Mr. B’s across the street from Hotel Monteleone, TOTC headquarters.

As for Tales of the Cocktail, it was way too fun. With these notes in mind, I’ll be back…!!

R Bar - Photographed by: Alen Lin (www.alenlin.com)

We all love Los Angeles for the diversity it affords in all cross-sections of life. (Or, at least I hope you do.) But let’s be honest. When it comes to food, fashion and yes, even drinking, sometimes we’ve come to expect a certain type of scene based upon the neighborhood that we’re in.

You’ll find flip-flops accepted and even expected near the beach while they’ll likely be shunned as you head eastbound. Moustaches and more indie music? East. Button-downs over straight-cut slacks? West. Dress code? All over (unfortunately).

But recently I found myself in a few bars where the interior and auras had me confused – as if I really were in a different neighborhood. Here’s the rundown on my impressions – along with my favorite cocktail at each bar:

Del Monte Speakeasy: Located in Venice, but feels like you’re in Silver Lake

The PSA

Recently outfitted with Brandon Ristaino’s elaborate cocktail menu, Del Monte has upped their game with some pretty fancy – and complicated – recipes. With a new focus on housemade ingredients, the speakeasy menu has some wacky combinations in their drinks. It’s brave and takes risks, which I admire, but unfortunately I didn’t like the majority of the cocktails. While reading the ingredients of a drink off the menu would usually provide enlightenment in my enjoyment of the cocktail, the explanation of each drink was simply confusing as many of the components seemed to clash.

The speakeasy area downstairs, however, has a ton of charm – and has only very recently legally reopened. There’s a filled-in tunnel from the Prohibition days in their stock room and the stairs are so old that you best be looking down as you descend – lest you trip down the rabbit hole into this bar that doubles as a music venue! Recommended cocktail: The PSA, made with Pisco, Aperol, citrus, house prepared demerara syrup, egg white & Peruvian bitters (Caroline on Crack explains why).

Naya Sunset: Located in Silver Lake, but feels like you’re in Hollywood

Naya Sunset Interior

Granted, I was at the media opening, but I’m thinking from the dim lighting, loungey seating and 4-on-the-floor house music, Naya Sunset’s intent was to bring the club to Sunset Junction. With a side of Indian food and a little Southeast Asian flavor mixed in, that is. Thing is, Joel Black’s cocktails are better than most others’ available in the vicinity, so if you’re craving one of the aforementioned – or both – it’d be a mistake to pass Naya up should you happen to be in the neighborhood.

My favorite cocktail: The Rocky Patel is a down-and-dirty mix of Chivas 12 Year blended Scotch whisky, Laphroaig 10 Year Islay Scotch whisky and espresso bean infused Zaya 12 Year old rum with espresso bean garnish. The smokey flavor of the Laphroaig blended beautifully with the subtle coffee flavors of the rum. Delicious. Also don’t forget to try the others on for size, such as the Spa in Goa – a refreshing cocktail utilizing Aviation Gin, fresh lime juice, Persian cucumbers, fresh thyme and agave nectar. It tastes just like it sounds, except even better (gin always has a benefit over vodka, no?).

R Bar: Located in Koreatown, but feels like you’re in Eagle Rock

Don’t look for signage, because it doesn’t exist. And…you need a password to get through the door. Yes, it initially feels a little off-putting, like a douchey dance club, but the password can be found out either on their Facebook or Twitter. And once you’re in, you’re pretty much in dive bar paradise. Heavy-hitting jukebox, check. Stiff pours, check. Old, wooden booths and furnishings with sweet nothings and loud somethings etched into said wood, check. Other than the name, it’s not a pirate bar by the strictest standards, but sometimes I just want a no-nonsense bar with a campy, divey feel.

Play Action Trivia on Tuesdays, or if you really were jonesin’ for that part of K-town, you can also karaoke on Mondays (albeit on-stage, rowdy style and without the private rooms). As far as drinks, stick to the 1:2 pours or just go with whiskey neat. I’d be wrong to recommend it, but they do offer a “mystery shot” to bravely hapless drinkers.

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I love unpredictibility. And I’ve always had a soft spot for outcasts. These little gems spread across the city offer scenes that are totally unexpected given the neighborhoods they occupy. Stop by one and prepare to be at least a little bit surprised.